Today has been a tough day. I slept late and have felt out of sorts all day. I'm trying to watch tv in the dark to get myself sleepy. I need to get up at a decent time tomorrow so I can go for a walk. I didn't go today but did yesterday. I am keeping my food light today to compensate. Tomorrow night is our bookclub holiday party so I know I will have a heavier meal. Makes getting in my steps that much more important.
On the positive note - I got confirmation that my resume was submitted to the hiring manager so fingers crossed I get an interview and eventually an offer. I need to get back to work. Desperately. My mental health is really starting to suffer.
I'm keeping this effort to myself for the most part. I need to walk the walk - I've done too much talking and very little action. Anything I say has zip for credibility. I heard a new song the other night on the Voice that the jist of the song is I am jealous you are happy without me. I spent a lot of years loving someone who only wanted me at their convenience. I deserve something more. I am ashamed to admit this ended 6 years ago next month. What happened to the best revenge is happiness???? I am 41 not 22. I wasted so much time. . .
I want to live and love life. I need a companion. I need to know I won't die alone.
Three months of sitting home during this lay off has been torture. Way too much time to dwell on the reality of where my life has gone. Jobless, not married, no children ~ not exactly the American dream. I can't fix the past but I want to do better in the future.
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